Regret
by ForeverLilacLies
Summary: Our regrets shape us in many forms.  Draco learns first hand how his actions will forever stick with him and haunt him.  NonCon.


**This is during their sixth year then goes forward to the end of the war. Warning, there is rape involved. I do not own Harry Potter. Draco refused to give him to me. This is set before the bathroom scene.**

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><p>Draco Malfoy had never been considered affectionate. He had never been called gentle either. It was not him, it was not Malfoy to be a gentle lover who wooed those they slept with, of course his parents loved each other but looking at them they were very poised and professional. For Draco, sex was just sex, rough hard to the point and that was just what he was thinking when he threw Harry Potter against the wall of the astronomy tower. He heard Potter hiss in pain and curse softly.<p>

"Ow! You git, lemme go!" Potter snapped shoving Draco away from him. Draco pushed himself forward trapping the other boy against the wall. Harry squirmed face flushed eyes wide and angry, but there was no fear. He never showed Draco any fear, and that was one thing that ate away at Draco as he lay in bed at night. Harry Potter never showed him fear. Only annoyance and hatred. Oh how Draco wished to change that, yes change and morph that hatred in fear and that annoyance into horror. And he would have it. Draco hands reached into Potter's hair and pulled harshly. After some struggle the blonde managed to force the smaller boy to the ground. He grabbed the boy's wand and threw it aside. From there he proceeded to rip Potter's robe and shirt from his body tearing the material of his shirt and tossing it aside like garbage. Harry tensed confusion taking over his senses. But when Draco's fingers reached for his trousers Harry began to struggle in earnest.

"Get off me!" He snapped attempting to throw Malfoy off of him. Malfoy's hand reached for his wand.

"Scared Potter?" Draco asked lightly.

"You wish!" Harry snapped. A smirk appeared on Draco's face.

"You will be_." _He whispered eyes darkening.

_"Incarcerous_!" He hissed. Ropes were conjured from his wand and wrapped around Potter's thin wrists. Potter cursed bucked against the other boy angrily.

"Malfoy! What the hell! Stop!" Harry snarled. Draco though about silencing him but that would do him no good he wanted to listen to Potter, to hear every noise he made. Instead Draco did a quick spell silencing the tower. Slowly Draco turned back to look at Potter. The other boy's eyes were narrowed in hatred, still no fear. Not for long anyways. Swiftly Draco tore Harry's jeans from his body followed shortly by his boxers. He felt Potter struggle. There was a small roar in his ears as he stared down at Potter's perfect body. Slender and lightly toned pale skin met his eyes. His eyes sparkled as he placed his hands on the soft skin of his chest. He felt Potter tense up. He met Potter's eyes with his own and smiled coldly.

"Scared yet?" He sneered.

"Sod off." Harry snarled spitting in Draco's face. Draco calmly wiped the saliva from his face and regarded Harry coldly.

"Wrong answer, Potter." He replied. Without another word he too removed his trousers and underwear and grabbed Potter's hips lifting him up and positioning himself. Without another word Draco thrust himself into Potter as deep as he could. The tightness that surrounded him was breath taking as was the breathy noise of pain forced from Potter's throat. Draco began to thrust in and out his eyes closed in ecstasy. How many nights had he spent dreaming of doing this? Far to many for _far_ to long. He opened his eyes and looked at Potter's face. The other boy's face was drawn in pain tears staining flushed cheeks. The roaring began to get louder. His thrusts became more erratic. He gripped Potter's hips tightly.

"Beg me Potter." He snarled. "Beg me to stop!" His thrusts became harder.

"St-stop!" Harry cried out. Draco chuckled darkly.

"You can do better than that!" He muttered. He roughly kissed Potter forcing his tongue into Harry's mouth. It was short lived however. Harry roughly bit Draco tongue. Swiftly Draco's hands wrapped around Harry's throat cutting off his air until the younger boy let go. Slowly Draco released him. Malfoy licked his lips tasting his blood. He grabbed Harry's legs and placed them over his shoulders. His thrusts deepened and a smirk appeared on his face as he watched Harry's pained reaction.

"Beg." He hissed.

"N-never." Harry replied back.

"Fine." Draco replied with a sneer. He continued on with his torture. When he came, he came with a shout of pleasure. He heard Harry cry out in pain. Draco pulled out of Harry and lay beside him panting. He stared at the ceiling in silence for a few moments listening to the small pained noises that came from the boy beside him. After he caught his breath Draco began to dress not looking at Potter who had not moved from his position. When Malfoy pulled on his shirt he glanced at Harry and sneered.

"I told you I'd get you back for putting my father in Azkaban." Malfoy crowed. He fixed his shirt and headed towards the stairs. He turned and regarded the other boy with guarded eyes.

"I'll see you around Potter. Oh, and stop following me around." He said as an after thought. Potter did not move. With a shrug of his shoulders, Draco turned and left the boy who lived on the cold floor, bleeding and alone. Meanwhile Draco strutted off not looking behind him. His heart beating madly in his chest. He raped the boy who lived…. He _raped _him… Blindly Draco made his way to the dungeons. He stopped once to catch his breath a weak sob escaping him. Slowly he stood tall and marched onward. He had taught Potter a lesson, nothing more, nothing less. With that in mind he braved his way into the Common Room. He stood there in silence for a moment before violently pitching forward and vomiting all over his feet. This was not how it was supposed to happen...

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><p><strong>After the War.<strong>

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><p>Draco stood beside his his parents. Soon the three of them would be judged and sentenced to the kiss, for their crimes. He tried to appear aloof and brave in front of his parents. His mother's face was pale and drawn her hands bony and cold as the clasped his. His father was ashen and stony faced. When they were called, Lucius lead his family in chin up. Draco and Nacrissa followed. The court was filled with official people who regarded the Malfoy's in distaste. A few of the Weasley's were in the audience along with Granger and a pale faced Potter. Draco couldn't look at him. To many memories came with looking at the boy. Too much regret. In Potter's hand was a piece of parchment. Draco followed his parents to the middle of the room and stood watching the judge regard them cooly.<p>

"Back again, Lucius." The judge growled. Lucius did not respond. The Judge sighed and glanced at Draco.

"And it seems you have dragged your son in after you." He murmured. He was about to speak again when the man sitting beside him handed a piece of parchment. The judge took it and opened it reading its contents with a frown. After a moment he lifted his eyes and regarded Nacrissa Malfoy then glanced past her. Draco followed his gaze and spotted Potter still seated looking back calmly. The judge read the parchment again then sighed and stood.

"It has come to my attention that Nacrissa Malfoy defected from You Know Who and lied to him about Harry Potter's death. It has been suggested that the Malfoy family be spared… Malfoys, you are free to go." the judged sighed. A silence hung over the room. Quickly Draco turned to where Potter was seated to see his seat empty. Draco glanced towards the door and spotted Harry leaving the room. Draco ran from his parents and followed Potter out of the court room.

"Potter!" He called. The boy kept walking. Draco rushed forward and grabbed his wrist stopping him. His eyes met Harry's and Draco saw fear flash threw them. Draco stepped back horrified. Harry stood tense and regarding Malfoy with a guarded expression. Malfoy shifted suddenly feeling nervous.

"What?" Harry asked, his voice emotionless. Malfoy took a breath and met Harry's bright green eyes with his own gray.

"You saved us. My parents and I from being kissed, and back at school you…you could have let me die. You should have let me die in the Room of Requirements, after what I did to you." Draco said softly his expression desolate. Harry blinked and licked his lips.

"Thats where you and I differ Malfoy, you would have no qualms with letting me die. But I didn't save you because I felt I had to, I saved you because I could, so now you can live your life from under Voldemort's and your father's thumb."

"Potter…I _raped_ you."

"Yes I know, it's been nagging at me since you did it, you took my virginity you know." Harry said lightly but his eyes remained cold, Draco flinched slightly.

"I did?" Draco whispered softly, horrified. Harry snorted.

"Yes. You did. I'm sure you've lost no sleep over it." Potter replied snidely. Draco reached forward again.

"Potter, I regret, everything I did to you." Malfoy spoke softly his hand holding onto Harry's. Harry merely frowned.

"Why is that Malfoy? Have you regretted it since you did or or since I've saved your ass from death or worse?"

"Since it happened! Potter, I went to the dungeons, and as soon as I entered my dorm I puked all over my feet, I-"

"How sad." Harry replied dully eyes flashing. Draco felt his blood run cold.

"Potter, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I raped you. I'm sorry for everything. But I want to thank you, not…not only for saving me and my family." Draco said his hand loosening on Harry's. Harry blinked.

"What else is there to thank me for? I really need to leave Malfoy." Harry said pulling from Draco's gentle grasp and turning to leave.

"Wait!" Draco called. Harry stopped and looked at Draco expectantly.

"What is it Malfoy?" He asked softly. Draco ran a hand through his hair.

"Next Tuesday, can we meet somewhere and talk?" He questioned softly. Harry's expression softened slightly.

"Fine."

"Okay…how about the leaky Caldron at 5:00?"

"…Fine, I'll see you then Malfoy."

"See you then…Potter." Draco watched as Harry walked towards the exit. Once he disappeared Draco leant against the wall and let out a shaky breath. He couldn't mess this up. He had to make it up to Potter somehow. He spotted his parents approaching and stood up straight. His mother approached him looking curious.

"Draco dear, you look pale." She commented softly placing her hand on his arm. Draco grimaced and glanced at his father.

"Just a little sick." He replied. His parents nodded in understanding and together they walked out of court to face the world.

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><p>Draco sat at the secluded table nervously wringing his hands in his lap. Potter had yet to show up and Draco wondered if he even would. Not that he would blame him if he didn't. Draco wrung his hands once more before glancing at the table and staring at the scratches on the old surface. He began to trace to scratches with his finger. Once one ended he'd trace another every so often glancing up hoping to spot Potter. He scowled to himself. Of course Potter wasn't going to show up. Why should he? After what Malfoy ha done to him? He was so stupid for hoping that Potter would forgive him, how could he when he couldn't forgive himself. He-<p>

"Malfoy?" A voice called out slowly. Draco lifted his head to see Harry Potter standing by the table tense and unsure. Draco stood quickly causing the other male to step back.

"Potter…you came." He repaid awkwardly.

"Of course I did." Harry replied just as awkwardly. Slowly the two of them sat. Harry was tensed up eyes not meeting Draco's/ Draco watched the other male carefully his eyes guarded but glum. Finally Potter's eyes met his.

"Why did you want to see me?" Harry questioned his voice soft. Draco lay his arms on the table and looked at Harry meaningfully.

"I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me? For what?"

"For ending it. The war's over. My family's finally at peace and my father can now sleep at night knowing that _he_ won't be back." Draco stated smoothly his eyes holding Harry's gaze. Harry's eyes narrowed in thought.

"You're…you're welcome." He managed softly. The silence that follows is awkward, a faint buzzing is ll that can be heard. Draco glanced at Harry and cleared his throat.

"I am sorry Potter, for what I did to you. I know you may never be able to forgive me, but I regret it every day since it's happened. When you fought me in the bathroom, I deserved that spell you hit me with."

"I'm sorry about that."

"No! Don't you apologize for doing nothing wrong, but please Potter believe me when I say I'm sorry for what I did to you." Draco replied his eyes blazing.

"…I believe you." Harry replied meeting Draco's gaze and holding it. Draco stared at him in silence for a moment then seemed to deflate a bit.

"You do?" He managed.

"Of course." Harry replied idly. Draco stared at the boy who lived in silence attempting to see if he really was forgiven. He couldn't be could he? But the look in Harry Potter's eyes confirmed it. He was forgiven. Draco deflated even more not knowing how to feel. Relieved perhaps, happy maybe….all he knew that the painful grip on his heart and the roaring in his ears were gone. He looked at Harry who looked back calmly.

'Why?" Draco managed. Harry blinked.

"Why what?"

"Why do you forgive me?"

"…Because I know you regret it. I can see it in your eyes." Harry replied softly. Draco licked his lips and stared at Harry in silence.

"Thank you." He finally repaid his voice tight. Harry nodded a small smile appearing on his face.

"You're welcome." Harry and Draco sat in silence soft clinking of glass was the only noise heard. Draco drummed his fingers on the cool surface of the table before finally speaking.

"Can we start over?"

"Start over?"

"Yes, like start over from scratch or something." Harry glanced at Draco in silence before nodding.

"I'd like that."

"Well then. Hello I'm Draco Malfoy." Draco stated holding out his hand. Harry took it easily.

"Hello, I'm Harry Potter." The boy who lived replied with a smile which Draco returned.

"It's nice to meet you."


End file.
